while bloghopping and linkfollowing, i saw this site. gorgeous. me likee. :)


i dream

i cant remember the last time.
wouldn't it be lovely?



Last night was Steve’s birthday party. Sunday People members were there. And as usual talk turned to:

1 people leaving the country
2 people thinking of repatriating

3 pros and cons of being in the country
4 coping mechanisms

So I now live in a country better known internationally for its system of organized chaos, and its endless supply of nurses and maids. And if you listen to every other AngMo/Farang/GwaiLo/Afam out there venting his frustrations on the flights back to Manila, it’s a country of liars, cheaters, and thieves. Basically, a hopeless pit of doomed people.

Oh yeah, and we got sunshine in the Philippines most days of the year too. Har har.

Repatriating has been easy. I came back home in 2003 for various reasons, one of which was because I needed a place to lick my wounds without having to worry about my papers and whatnots.

That part was easy, but it gets a bit tricky when one gets confronted by the reality that inconvenience is THE way of life. From the smallest of things…you can trust third world sensibilities to mess it up.






Coping strategies were discussed last night. The one that stood out the most (for me) was Gail's strategy.

She said: “Just don’t think.”

It’s so simple, and so elegant a solution it rendered me speechless. Just be. Just don’t think. Stay with the moment. And every damn Zen principle you want to dig up. Dig it up, live it, and you’d better friggin’ LOVE it.

I don’t read newspapers here. I don’t like news. I don’t watch TV. I don’t like tv news. So I really don’t think I think.

But how can you not feel certain emotions though, when you know everyday life does not have to be this way? It’s Broken. Corrupt. Dirty. Poverty abounds. Ugly.

It’s not even poetic, or charming in any way. It’s just BAD. We try not to think, we try not to look. But everyday, reality just keeps popping up and slaps us across the face, demanding that we feel dissatisfied.

So I guess the best advice would be: "just don't feel."


the quitter

holding up better than i thought i would. and so is daddy j. we actually did cold turkey, anyone want my nicorette patches? teehee...(i feel so smug, i want to dropkick myself.)

great encouragement and helpful tips for me is quitnet.

My quitnet newsletter says:

Your Quit Date is:Thursday, July 20, 2006 at 12:00:00 AM
Time Smoke-Free:56 days, 4 hours, 49 minutes and 22 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked:1124
Lifetime Saved:8 days, 14 hours
Money Saved:Php4,200.00



normanelz photos and wedding pages are finally up! follow this link.



So Cedrich in NZ leaves comments on my blog. Think he's trying to contact me.



What's your email address??? mine's olivjooz@yahoo.com kumusta ka na dyan???

Wait. That's you naman diba???


peeling it off

after roughly 2 years, i finally went to see vivian (dermatologist and friend) to get a face peel last saturday.

she saw some fine lines on my face...unmistakeable signs of aging. she promptly went on mission mode: search and destroy the evidence of time, neglect, smoking, and numerous unhealthy habits (that i am on my way of correcting, thank you.)

so after a week of morphing into a leatherfaced old lady, then to a human dna-shedding machine, my face has decided to simulate normalcy. it's still red at times, sometimes itchy and dry, but at least i ceased to look scary.

my skin is getting fixed, now for the other parts of me that need fixing...


reality check

so far work has been a hearty mixture of fun, frustrations, boredom, amusement, and at times, bemusement.

i always make it a point to visit jona at the graphics department. she's my office reality check lady.

money is not bad, but it's not great either. the stuff i do is garbage, it's bad compositing you can't put in your showreel if you want to be taken seriously by a post house in the region.

i have come right out and asked tadi for assignments in motion graphics (once we finish canning the show i'm working on now), which is what i need for my reel.

some of my workmates "defend" their "turf" by insidious, relatively conniving means. acts of deviousness have become a mundane thing. it's sad to watch people waste so much energy and earn so much bad karma over something so oddly pedestrian and jologs.

but it's a living, and it's okay. it's not all bad. we (olive, uleb, lebs, olivia, viang, viats, and myself) have fun half the time...especially with the part when one of us starts a running commentary about the walking tabloid of a coworker in a nasal voice. that's good for another entry, though...