In every person’s life, one goes through a period when all aspects of one’s life are tied together by a series of countdowns. Here is a list that I am currently living with:

Countdown to…

Number of days to the weekend- 4

Number of days to Faith’s birthday – 8

Number of pounds to be removed from any scale I step on – 20

Number of days to the great gym comeback- 50

Number of days left to indulging my nicotine addiction- 3

Number of my sister’s chemo sessions left –2

Number of months before I muster the courage to hit the beach- 5

Number of weeks to Quttlefish 2nd birthday- 10

Number of dress sizes I need to shrink down from- 6

Number of floors left to the building across the street before it gets flattened- 13

Number of marbles left in my head- 1 ½


Hair traffic

Saturday saw the beginning of Jerome's Makeover. Something I fondly call the Alpha Male Project. Mind you, Jerome's great the way he is, but we are reaching to fulfill his full hottie-potential.

We got off to a good start at Ipe's in Laguna. Even though we got there REALLY late due to the traffic and an unscheduled stop at Lex Media (to fix some files for Swing Mag that went berserk). On the way, traffic in Laguna was barely crawling, but we battled on. Missed Ipe's street by several meters, but sige...Fight!

My Daddy J now sports a barbershop-wedge free hairstyle. Well styled by Ipe, he looks more relaxed with better-shaped hair that conforms to his hair growth patterns, while making him look more his age, and at the same time flattering his features.

Today, we got him off gel and right into wax. He went to stand as godfather to one of his friends' kids and got no reaction from anyone. Hmmmm...He said he brushed his hair. Probably need to teach him to do the jzuging thing with his fingers.



Today my folks fly back to the province after my dad's recovery from angioplasty. They've been here for two weeks, I've seen them four times. They were here in time for my sister's birthday last April 9. With a deadline, I did not bother see them on mine.

Faith told me this was odd. I didn't agree, silently noting that it's called being professional. A deadline is a deadline.

Last Friday, I realized there IS something odd about my relationship with my parents. I'm uncomfortable around them.

Maybe it's also because I couldn't communicate well with them, especially with the mother. My mother set up a house rule when we were kids that we are to speak to the parents in Chinese, and Tagalog amongst us siblings. Chinese translates to a pre-schooler-vocabulary for me. As a result, I only speak to her about the most mundane things. Pa---I grew up knowing I was never in his radar, so now everytime he pays me any attention, it feels as if some of my space is being breached.

Wednesday, I went to see my folks in Makati. They stay with my Aunt (Ma's sister) when they visit.

At my parents' not-really-constant and not-too-subtle prodding, I figured it was a convenient way to have them meet Jerome. So I asked him to pick me up at my aunt's, for a quick and easy getaway.

The whole time Jerome (who, unlike me, always does well with the parents-litmus-test) was easy and doing great around my dad. I was a wreck, I was eager to split and run.

Okay, so maybe in theory, it's normal for parents to want to meet their child's boyfriend/girlfriend. But in practice, in the terms defined by my relationship and history with my parents, I WAS EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE. Not to mention weirded out by the sudden interest my folks are showing.

Jerome saw my can of worms. Those are issues for me. I've always swept them under the carpet. Hoping never to have to deal with those again when I moved away. Guess you can't run away forever.


birthday blues

spent most of yesterday making the deadline for swing magazine's 2nd issue. it was over-all a sort of fun birthday. i got a monster-sized bouquet of roses (little over 3 feet!) with matching balloons from boyfriend, daddy j. he had to work too. ah well...

it was really funny to see faith's reaction to the bouquet, she even took pictures.

for lunch my ate bought me birthday noodles from wah yuen. yum!

as a special treat, got a call from nelson. talked to norman too. :) they asked me when i'm moving to vancouver. hahahaa...sweet people. i miss nels.

haven't been blogging lately due to all the work with swing. hay naku. printer's by monday. can't wait.


immortality. mortality, names

Pope john Paul 2 has passed on to the afterlife. Our former roommate Kura's Mom also passed on. Both looked peaceful in death.

I am once more contemplating my own mortality, and just mortality in general. Is there really an afterlife? Will I reconcile with my religion's teachings about the afterlife when my time comes? Will I go peacefully with that precise knowledge that faith brings?

When Trixie passed away in 1997, I was so distraught at the thought that I did not know where she was that night. I did not know if an afterlife awaits. It was the most terrifying time.

It's 2005. I am not wiser. My faith is just as weak. A huge part of me wants to believe. But I don't know why scepticism gets to me.

As usual when no answers come, I tend to go the opposite way and breathe a bit by doing something completely silly.

So went to blogthings and saw a new test. heeheeheehee...Escapist. Chickenshit. Coward.

This name generator was a lot of fun.

Olivia Tan Khu's Aliases

Your movie star name: Almond Cake King

Your fashion designer name is Olivia Vatican

Your socialite name is Biatang Amsterdam

Your fly girl / guy name is O Khu

Your detective name is Monkey Kong Hua

Your barfly name is Chocolate Vodka Seven

Your soap opera name is Tan Venus

Your rock star name is Melty Kiss Bullet

Your star wars name is Oliles Khujoh

Your punk rock band name is The Mellow Flying Saucer